tarakelk

I let go of a broken heart
I let go to an open heart
I let go of my broken dreams
I let go to the mystery
I believe in the miracles
I believe in the spiritual
I believe in the One above
I believe in the one of Love
And take one step closer to you.

- The Weepies

…
 

Rainy day, one more back to school September.  Again?

Students rush the sidewalk, standing smoking in my way, new best outfits and flirting glances. Everyone looking at everyone else.

I slip by unnoticed, not part of them, but not part of us, either.

...

I have started to forget which season it is. Really – ever since I’ve been back, I find myself struggling to remember – is it spring or fall? Just for a second, and then I remember. But, it’s the strangest thing, and it sort of scares me.

...

I wish I could remember how to remember how.

I can’t go back now, here I am,

yep.

...

The only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself.

You and me, we walk on.

.

Favourites from T.S. Eliot

It must be essential to know at least some of Eliot's best lines. They apply to so much of my life's moments.
(As always, best to be read aloud)!

...


Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

...

I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

I was neither
Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
Looking into the heart of light, the silence.

...

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.


.

Victoria, BC.

Rain is falling. It's mid-August and today I wore my raincoat.
Sitting in a coffee shop with my laptop, writing my 'six-month report' -
Change of scenery from the stifling office.


I haven't written in a long time.
Time flies.

Last year, now, i was there.
Oh,
there.

It hurts my heart to think how close i was, there, there. i could touch it. it was mine. everything i ever wanted.

must. get. back.


...

when i am alone
when i've thrown off the weight of this crazy stone
when i've lost all care for the things i own
that's when i miss you,
you who are my home.

here is what i know now:
in your love, my salvation lies
in your love.

Well I had a dream i stood beneath an orange sky
with my brother and my sister standing by.

(orange sky - alexi murdoch)
...

Mystic Beach, Juan de Fuca Trail:


Vancouver Island is a beautiful place to be. I know I am home, here. I belong.
But I do miss it, everything, everyone, ohsosomuch.

I rediscovered Dave Matthews today, my all-time favourite - but forgotten for the past year. It's even better than I remember.

Our babies.
I've been thinking so often of them, lately.
If I could be there now, I would spin them in circles as much as they wanted.







-Photos courtesy of Aric Gutnick's facebook album.

Tonight you just close your eyes
and I just watch you
slip away.

How close am I to losing you?

You own me.
There's nothing you can do.
Lucky you.

www.youtube.com/watch

a storm is coming, but i don't mind.
people are dying - i close my blinds.
all i can do is keep breathing, now.

i want to change the world, instead i sleep.
i want to believe in more than you and me.
but all i can do is keep breathing,
all we can do is keep breathing,
now. 

- Ingrid Michaelson